New York. Only the strongest people make it in this
city. You have to be emotionally,
mentally and physically strong. You have to have to ability to make decisions,
have endless passion and tough skin. You would think since I’ve been here for
almost a year and half that I would be acclimated to this monstrous city, but
why am I finding myself crying alone in my room at 9pm on a Thursday night (the
craziest night in NYC)? I should be having drinks with friends, getting fucked
up and having the time of my life. Is there something wrong with me?
I know what is it. No it’s not that fact that I have a
boyfriend – who’ve I’ve been dating for 3 yrs. - or the fact that I really
don’t have that many friends in the city. It’s because of my job. My job literally
sucks up my whole fucking life. It sucks my time, my energy, my emotions, my
thoughts, my over well being! There hasn’t been at least 5 minutes where I
haven’t thought about my job.
I came to New York as a bright-eyed North Western girl who never
got mad, who was always positive and happy. One year later, I’m still the same
girl but with a sailor tongue and mindset. Cursing every minute, mad at my
life, slowly starting to snap at people. It’s honestly hard for me to show if
I’m angry to anyone besides 1) my family and 2) my boyfriend, so I’m out of my
element in New York City. So is New York
really making me a stronger person or is it making me angrier? Or is that why
people are so “strong” and aggressive here - it’s because half of the time they’re
angry and hate their lives. Is this life really worth it?
I’m that girl who hates giving up at things, who has big
dreams and who will always put her career before anything! Before, I would envy
someone with this mentality but now being in this situation I’m thinking to
myself “is this really worth it?”
Welcome to New York, a city that eat newbs like me (90% of
this damn city) alive. Maybe they should call it Newb York.
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